dorkk

Top 5 things flutists do when they're bored:
1. blow through your flute with all the holes closed and pretend you're darth vader
2. try to figure out a trill fingering for C4 to D4 ... bonus points if you use a piccolo
3. play your flute into a box fan
4. finger low D on a piccolo, cover the hole with your pinky, then suck all the air out. take all your fingers off except your pinky ... the keys stay down! (well, now you're stuck with a piccolo attached to your tongue - press the Ab key to open the vacuum)
5. find the most beautiful song you can and add three flats

Top ten reasons to play flute:
10. Low maintenance - no reeds, valve oil, etc
9. Can easily overpower any other woodwind
8. Extremely portable - can be slipped in a backpack, in your pocket, or through a needle's eye
7. Quick disassemble for fast exits
6. You can pretend to play and no one will know the difference
5. Learning to transpose trumpet music
4. With practice, makes a great blowgun
3. NO SPIT
2. Lightweight
1. High pitched notes drive animals nuts

Five reasons not to:
5. Getting yelled at for playing too loud
4. Composers expect you to be able to play the quicket, most complicated runs just by virtue of being a flutist
3. Goes out of tune in record time
2. Being barred from jazz band
1. People expect you to be a ditz.